Let’s be honest, between groceries, group chats, and the endless stream of Netflix shows to binge, it’s easy for your sex life to slip into snooze mode. Maybe you’re feeling like the passion has taken a hit, but as a certified Relationship & Intimacy coach, I can assure you: passion doesn’t die, it just needs to be poked. Or stroked. Or whispered to with a sultry question.
That’s where sexy Q&As come in.
Asking fun, flirty, and downright dirty questions is one of the easiest (and hottest) ways to reignite desire, get emotionally naked, and explore new fantasies, without ever leaving your bedroom. Or couch. Or hot tub. It’s so simple but the effects are relationship-saving.
Whether you’ve been together five months or five years, the right questions can unlock that spark you didn’t even realise was there all along.
And if you ever run out of things to ask, let the Love & Lust app do the dirty work for you.
Love & Lust is packed with playful prompts and dares that are designed to ignite passion.
Think of sexy questions as a mini date in verbal form. When you ask your partner about their desires, fantasies, or that time they thought about you in the middle of a meeting, you’re doing more than just making them blush, what you’re doing is setting the building blocks to your long-term intimacy with trust.
The more you talk about sex, the better it gets. Seriously, this isn’t just pillow talk. A study of almost 40,000 people in romantic relationships found that couples who openly communicate about sex (what they like, what they want, and how they feel), report way higher levels of both relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction.
Why? Because curiosity keeps your relationship fresh, as does novelty. As psychologist Esther Perel says, “Desire needs mystery.” And asking good questions keeps you discovering new things about each other, even after a decade of shared takeout and pet hair. When you feel like you know everything about your partner, that’s when passion dies, but remember, your partner is a complex being and there is always more to learn, you just need to get curious!
So let’s get stuck in.
We’ve broken these 80 questions into sexy little sections depending on what mood you’re in.
Get the heat going without going full XXX.
1. What’s one memory of us that still makes you smile?
2. When do you feel most attracted to me?
3. If we had 24 hours alone, no rules, no phones, what would we do?
4. What’s your biggest turn-on that has nothing to do with sex?
5. What’s a compliment I’ve given you that you think about often?
6. If I kissed you right now, what would you want me to do next?
7. Where do you love being touched, but I rarely go there?
8. What’s your favorite memory of us being intimate?
9. What would you do if I whispered “I want you” in public?
10. When do you fantasize about me the most?
He wants to be wanted and these will get him turned on.
11. What’s your favorite thing I’ve ever worn?
12. What scent on me drives you wild?
13. What’s a sex scene you’ve seen that you’d love to try IRL?
14. What’s your “I can’t believe we did that” moment with me?
15. What’s one sexy surprise you’d love me to plan?
16. What’s a fantasy you’ve had about me, but never shared?
17. What’s something sexual you’d love me to initiate more often?
18. Have you ever thought about me at work in that way?
19. What’s your favorite kind of foreplay?
20. What does your dream “hotel sex” night look like?
For extra spiciness ask him these whilst you’re straddling him on the sofa.
21. What’s one romantic gesture I’ve done that you still think about?
22. What would our dream date night look like - start to finish?
23. What’s one sexy surprise you’d love me to plan just for you?
24. What’s your favorite way for me to show affection when we’re alone?
25. What’s a fantasy you’ve had about us that feels romantic and wild?
26. What’s a slow, sensual moment you wish we could replay?
27. Where do you love being kissed the most - besides the obvious?
28. What’s something sweet I’ve said that turned you on more than you expected?
29. What kind of foreplay makes you feel most loved and desired?
30. When do you feel the most connected to me - in or out of the bedroom?
Time to explore your alter egos.
31. Have you ever had a threesome fantasy?
32. What’s one kink you’d love to try in a safe space?
33. Would you ever want to be watched, or watch us with someone else?
34. What’s your safe word? (Let’s make one.)
35. Do you like pain with your pleasure? Spanking? Scratching?
36. What roleplay character would you love to become?
37. What’s the dirtiest dream you’ve ever had?
38. Can I tie you up?
39. Would you ever go to a sex club with me?
40. Can you tell me in detail how you want me to make you come?
The perfect blend of cheeky, charming, and chaos-inducing.
41. What would your porn star name be?
42. Are there any sex toys or props you want to try?
43. What’s a song that makes you think of our sex?
44. If I blindfolded you right now, what would you want me to do?
45. What’s your sexiest memory of us?
46. What’s one sexy surprise you’d love me to plan?
47. What do you wish I’d whisper in your ear during sex?
48. Would you rather have sex in the ocean or on a rooftop?
49. Have you ever masturbated while thinking about our last time?
50. What’s the hottest thing I’ve done to you unexpectedly?
51. If we were to make a sex tape, what would the theme be?
52. Which of my body parts do you secretly worship?
53. If I were to send you a nude later… what should I be doing in it?
54. Do you want to try sex in a place we definitely shouldn’t?
55. What’s your favorite time of day to get it on?
56. Do you like when I talk dirty, or do you prefer to lead?
57. How can I help you feel more desired?
58. What’s your “I want you so bad it hurts” signal?
59. What would it take for you to say, “That was the best sex of my life”?
60. What’s one move I do that you think about later?
The more you talk about sex, the better sex becomes. One study found that emotional closeness directly fuels desire, especially in long-term relationships. When couples feel connected, they’re more likely to get turned on, initiate sex, and (bonus) enjoy it more. So yes, talking about your fantasies or asking that cheeky question over a stroll in the park or on a sleepy Sunday with your favourite person actually can lead to better sex tonight.
So how should you bring it up?
The setting matters. Set a date night, over dinner, but never before during or directly after sex as that’s when we’re most vulnerable. Also avoid too many glasses of wine!
Try these:
And if you’re not sure where to start? Just open the Love & Lust app, and let the questions flow.
Discover over 450 fun & sexy questions, playful dares and spicy challenges in the Love & Lust app.
Keep it light, cheeky, and full of flirtation.
61. What nickname would you give me in bed?
62. Would you rather sext all day or send one perfect nude?
63. What’s your favorite compliment I’ve ever given you?
64. How would you rate my kissing out of 10 and what could take it to 11?
65. If we could only do one thing in bed for the rest of our lives what would it be?
66. Would you ever skinny dip with me in a public place?
67. If I wrote you an erotic story, what would the plot be?
68. Would you rather I moan your name or whisper your fantasies?
69. If you were to seduce me right now, what would you do first?
70. Do you want me to be a tease or give in easily?
Let her be the star of the show.
71. What’s the outfit you feel sexiest in for me?
72. Have you ever had a “can’t-walk-the-next-day” moment with me?
73. Where should we go for our next romantic escape, with sex as the main agenda?
74. What part of my body do you want to explore more?
75. What’s the dirtiest thing you’ve imagined us doing together?
76. Do you like being praised during sex, and for what?
77. Would you ever want to record us (just for us)?
78. What role would you want to play in a fantasy scene?
79. What would you do if I told you to take control?
80. What secret turn-on do you wish I just knew about you?
Whether you’re lounging in your sweats or lighting candles and cueing the sexy playlist, asking fun and sexy questions is a guaranteed way to bring back the butterflies and build anticipation that lasts longer than just one night.
So next time things feel “meh,” remember this: passion isn’t found, it’s created.
And the Love & Lust app is your ultimate wingmate. With levels that build from playful and flirty to deep, spicy, and downright naughty, it’ll have you and your partner talking, laughing, blushing, and touching in the best ways possible.
Now grab your partner, open the app, and start asking!
With years of experience coaching couples and individuals around the world, Alejandra brings a fresh, playful, and deeply human approach to love, communication, and desire. Her work is all about helping couples stay curious about each other and keeping the passion alive!
Relationship & Intimacy Advisor at Love & Lust
Relationship & Intimacy Advisor at Love & Lust